Learning To Do Nothing (About Anxiety) (Ep 305)

Doing Nothing Ain’t Easy!

Especially in the western world, we have been conditioned for at least a few generations to believe that doing nothing is a bad idea. Problem solving, achieving, checking boxes, working hard, earning our keep, and showing the world that we are capable have been so ingrained in our personal identities that we have simply forgotten how it feels to do nothing.

Being Is Better Than Doing Sometimes

Sometimes, we have to just be. That might sound kinda new-agey, but there is validity in the idea that being is better than doing sometimes. Actually, more often that you might thing! Just being means dropping into a state where we stop making, fixing, liking, disliking, judging, doing, solving, and deciphering. When we are being, we are allowing ourselves to exist with reality as it is without needing to change it or resist it.

Resisting The Reality of Anxiety

If you are anxious on most days, or most of the time, then this is your reality at the moment. Odds are you’ve been trying for quite some time to find magic ways to turn that off and make it stop, but that has probably not worked out all that well for you, so here you are listening or reading or watching. If we cannot manage, prevent, halt, or avoid feeling anxious, then what next? When resistance in the form of trying to fix it or stop it falls short, where do we go from here?

We Turn To … Not Doing!

When you’re fighting like crazy to manage and control your anxiety and can’t seem to get that to work, then it might be time to consider not doing that. Doing nothing. In the Taoist world that’s “doing not doing”. The Buddhists, the Stoics, the Jews, the Christians, the Muslims, and the Hindus all have concepts that revolve around letting go and accepting reality for what it is when we cannot change it. But this does not sit well when all we want is to use our big brains to solve the problem of how we feel. But doing not doing in the case of chronic or disordered anxiety is a powerful option!

Wait … What?

I know, it seems patently absurd for us to talk about doing nothing when you are sure you are dying, losing your sanity, about to melt down, ruin your life, and otherwise shatter into a million pieces (again). Surely we cannot be telling you that doing nothing is a good idea?  Well … that is what we’re telling you. This is one of those paradoxes we talk about all the time. Doing nothing and doing something will get you to the same place in the end, but doing nothing is faster and really, easier if we look at energy expenditure. As a bonus, doing nothing and still not shattering (even when you are sure you will) teaches critical recovery lessons!

So yes … we are suggesting that you start learning how to do nothing so you can use it in your recovery plan.

How Do You Learn To Do Nothing?

There are lots of ways to do that, but they all involve doing nothing again and again. Practicing! Opening up to the idea that it might actually be OK to just be as you are for a few minutes at a time, then giving that a whirl.  Almost everyone stinks at this, so the practice of doing nothing really is a practice. Your mind will kick back into doing mode. Your body will get restless or will demand that your mind work on fixing the sensations it is creating. You will feel like you “should” be doing something … ANYTHING!  Just sitting here feels so wrong!

But really … is it?

Formal Practice

Today we’re talking about formal practices like mindfulness, attention training, and meditation. They are the most commonly experienced ways to learn and practice the art of being instead of doing. When we make time to practice focusing, training our attention, meditating, and being mindful of the present moment, we are working on letting go of problem solving and fixing – because it doesn’t always belong in every situation – and working on being more accepting of reality as it is even when we hate it. There are strength and resiliency lessons to be found in this practice, so we highly reccomened it!

Informal Practice

Sititng on a cushion, doing intentional attention training exercises, or engaging in body scans or yoga are great, but even if you devote an hour a day to that work (most won’t, and that’s OK), you still have a good 14-16 waking hours to fill. This is where informal practice comes in. Eating more intentionally. Slowing down (someone wrote a book about this!). Paying attention to more than just what’s happening inside you. Being fully engaged in making coffee rather than doing it mindlessly while you plan the rest of your day. Taking a shower and actually feeling the water on your skin. These are excellent examples of how we can practice being – kinda doing nothing – even when we’re doing something!

Life Beyond Recovery

While we’re usually talking about recovery from chronic and disordered anxiety around here, learning to be (learning to do nothing) is a great investment in the rest of your life. When we cultivate the ability to be aware our machinery rather than just blindly following it all the time in knee-jerk reactions, we find that we can make choices and take action with more clarity, purpose, and alignment with what we believe to be truly important. Yes, this is a great thing when it comes to moving through a panic attack rather than running from it, hiding for four days, and hating yourelf for doing this. But it is also a great thing elsewhere in life.

Learning to do nothing is effort, but it is well worth that effort when we look at the benefits beyond just anxiety recovery.

So … What Do You Have To Lose?

It might seem too risky to stop doing stuff about your anxiety. It might feel like you simply MUST manage it, fight it, and hang on actively or you will die, go insane, or suffer some horrible fate along these lines. But that has never been true. Not even once. And when we take that informed leap of faith and finally let go – taking the chance at doing nothing about how we feel – we move toward recovery while also opening the door to the world of being rather than always doing.

If everything you’ve been doing up to this point has not worked, then maybe you can at least consider this. What do you have to lose?

Thank You To Joanna Hardis!

Joanna is someone I trust to always provide good information in an ethical way. I’m happy to call her a friend. And I am super thankful that she took the time to hang out today to help us out with this topic. For more, visit her website at joannahardis.com.

Links Of Interest

• Joanna’s Website
• My Panic Attacks Explained Workshop
• My Agoraphobia Explained Workshop
• My Panic and Agoraphobia Recovery Guidebook
• Follow me on Instagram
• My YouTube Channel
• Disordered – With Josh Fletcher

Disclaimer: The Anxious Truth is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to The Anxious Truth does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the host or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your own well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.